Uncategorized

Ghosts of My Mind

Posted on by Jole Miller

Although I am free and forgiven from all of my sins, I’m still haunted by ghosts of past failures. Memories of my mistakes come to my mind with images so real I swear that they’re standing right in front of me. Is it because of shame or regret? A desire for what once was? I mean, even though it brought about pain and destruction, there were good moments. Legends tell us that ghosts are souls that are unable to move on to the afterlife because they have unfinished business. Do these memories haunt me because there is still reconciliation to be done?

Or maybe it is just like all other wounds. You have to address it. Clean and care for it, but then you have to leave it to time. If you pick at it you’ll bleed. Are my wounds infected and need further cleaning? Or do I just need to let myself heal? I just hope the wound didn’t hit a nerve. Permanent damage that affects me for the rest of my life. Even so, Jesus can make the blind see, the deaf hear, and the crippled walk.

Identity Crisis

Posted on by Jole Miller

“When work is your identity, success goes to your head, and failure goes to your heart.” Pastor Tim Keller.

I think the world tries to define people’s value in one of three ways:

  1. Performance- You are what you do. (Isn’t this what Batman teaches us?)
  2. Possessions- You are what you have.
  3. Reputation- You are what others think of you.

Image result for it's not who i am underneath

Maybe you think you are somebody because you are successful in work, school or sports. Maybe you find value in having nice clothes, a nice house, and all the coolest toys. Maybe you find identity in being liked by people. Having lots of friends, being desired by the opposite sex, etc. But what happens when you come up short in these areas? What happens when you don’t do well on an assignment, or make a costly mistake at work or in a game? Will you cheat on the next assignment or shift the blame to a coworker/teammate? What do you do when a crappy car is all you can afford? Will you rack up credit card debt to impress people with new stuff? What happens when you ask someone on a date and they turn you down? Will you run to pornography to avoid the possibility of rejection?

These three options I’ve described are false identities. They are identities built on a weak foundation, and can be lost at the drop of a hat. If you put all of your hope in performance, possessions, or reputation you will be disappointed often. Paralyzed by fears of failure, fear of rejection, or constantly questioning if you are actually good enough. Every one of us is either living a false identity, or struggling with a false identity. And it is dangerous and enslaving.

I want to suggest that there is a distinction that must be made between identity and expression, and problems arise when they are confused. Let me illustrate: my dreads do not define me, rather they are an expression of who I am. I have tattoos. They serve as a daily reminder of what God has done in my life and an easy way to share my story with people. But tattoos don’t define me. If people don’t like them (my parents), I am not bothered because I don’t see it as an attack on me, they just prefer different things. I love playing sports, but my worth has nothing to do with my success on the field. I don’t do sports to “find myself”, rather I play because I love it, and on the field I have the freedom to express myself in ways that I can’t in other areas of life.

However, I’m not even close to having things figured out. I really struggle with intellect as my false identity. Sometimes I think I can find worth by wowing people with clever analogies or having a deep understanding of the Bible. Even as a write this I agonize over saying the right thing to impress whoever might read it. And in school with essays and writing a dissertation I’m constantly faced with the reality that there is so much that I don’t know, and there are so many people who are way smarter than me. And sometimes it’s hard for me to deal with because I feel like I pour myself into these blogs and the essays I write, and it hurts when people aren’t feeling it. Sometimes reading a professor’s comments on a paper feels like a personal attack. Rather than receiving criticism and improving, I ignore them. I believe the lie that my value is in how well I can communicate clever ideas.

Don’t get me wrong, God has given me gifts and talents, and I want to pursue excellence and use them to the best of my abilities. But the way in which I use these gifts should be a way to love God and love people. It should be an expression of what God has done in my life, not a way for me to find approval. I already have it. I mean God knows all of my sin, all of my weakness, all of my insecurities, all of my shortcomings, and in spite of all that he gave Jesus to die for my sin. He gave me a new heart and a new identity, one that I don’t deserve, and one that can never be taken away. I want to continue to write and study and grind, but I want it to do it glorify God and build people up. I want to be honest about what I’m going through and share what I think God is teaching me, hoping that people see and believe that there is life and freedom in Jesus. So I end with a challenge. Search your heart. Ask yourself, “Who am I really? Where is my identity really found?”     

Hoosiers and Discipleship

Posted on by Jole Miller

Hoosiers, along with being one of the greatest sports movies of all time, also presents a nice picture of discipleship. When I say discipleship I am referring to the process in which we learn to better follow Christ and grow in maturity under the guidance of a mentor with more life experience. The “discipler”/”disciple” relationship could be for a specific life stage. For example, you are about to get married and seek guidance from a couple who has been married for a while. If you are interested in serving in a specific ministry, you would want to learn from somebody who has done it. Or the relationship can be more general. You see somebody you respect and think, “I want to learn everything I can about following Jesus from this person.”   Four stages of discipleship that  I address are: (1) Mission, (2) Calling/Invitation, (3) Cultivation/Training, (4) Commission/Empower.

Mission- Before you do anything, it is important to know what it is you want to accomplish. For example, Jesus’ mission was to bring the Kingdom of Heaven to earth and make his Father known. He did this through his teachings, miracles, and ultimately his death on the cross. In Hoosiers, Coach Norman Dale had a vision of teaching a small-town basketball team that “There is more to the game then shooting. There are fundamentals and defense!” He saw the team had potential to do great things, but they were stuck in a routine of mediocrity. Notice, however, that neither Jesus nor Coach Dale attempt to accomplish their mission alone. Which brings us to the second stage.

Calling- Jesus gave no fancy speech when he chose his first disciples. All he said was, “Follow me,” and they did! Later in the Gospels Jesus gives conditions for following him: you have to love him more than your family. You have to deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow him. He told one man to sell everything he owned before following him. In Hoosiers, Coach Dale asked the town drunk, Shooter, to be his assistant coach. This is similar to Jesus in a couple ways. First, Coach Dale saw something in Shooter that no one else did. Shooter’s own son told Coach, “He don’t deserve a chance.” Jesus was often criticized for being a “friend to tax collectors and sinners”. Also, the 12 disciples were regular guys, fisherman with no serious religious education. He chose people you might not expect. Coach Dale also had conditions for Shooter. Shooter had to clean up, shave, wear a suit to games, and be sober. If he didn’t do these the relationship couldn’t happen. Similar to the disciples (and everyone who comes after them) Coach didn’t force Shooter to do anything. He presented an opportunity to be better and do something greater with his life, and he was willing to stop drinking to do it. So, let’s say you have a vision of a people group you want to impact, you invite a younger person to come along side you, what would be some conditions? One might be to make the relationship a priority, even if it means meeting at 6:30 a.m. Another one is complete transparency. No secrets, and no area of your life is off-limits (Hence you really need to trust each other).

Cultivation- After you have initiated and defined the relationship, the next stage is to develop the younger person. In this stage the mentor teaches and guides the mentee. Although Jesus explained parables to the 12, they probably learned more from everyday interaction with Jesus, watching what he did, and helping him with various tasks. There are also moments when the 12 screw up and Jesus  corrects and encourages them. In Hoosiers, we don’t see as much of this process between Coach Dale and Shooter. There are a few shots of them talking on the bench, and one tenser scene in which Coach Dale is dunking Shooter’s head in water forcefully reminding him that he agreed to be sober. Shooter tells him, “I don’t think I can cut it.” And Coach responds,”You can cut it. I didn’t think I could cut it the other night either, but after what Jimmy did, it’s gonna take the Indiana National Guard to get me out.” He started with rebuke and ended with encouragement. So if you are in a discipleship relationship with someone it is important to meet and do formal lessons, but it is equally important to invite them over to see how you interact with your spouse and observe how you do life. Another teaching tool would be to invite them into your ministry field and let them watch and then ask questions. If you lead a bible study, let the disciple come, then answer questions when it finishes. 

Commission- There comes a time in a mentor/mentee relationship when the mentor has done all the training they needed, and then steps aside and gives responsibility to the mentee. This moment comes in Hoosiers when Coach Dale intentionally gets thrown out of the game, so that Shooter has to lead the team in the final minutes of a big game. Shooter was terrified and lacked confidence, but he eventually led them to a victory. Shooter didn’t believe in himself, but Coach Dale saw and believed in what him. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2ILSuQOmEg)  Sometimes we need somebody to push us out of our comfort zone. Someone who pushes us to do/be more than we ever imagined. After rising from the dead and before ascending into heaven Jesus told his disciples, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:18-20). Keep in mind Jesus is telling this to the guys who deserted him and left him to die alone. One of these guys denied him three times. Do you think they were brimming with confidence? Probably not, but they could take comfort in that Jesus would always be with them. Although Jesus was no longer present in body, his ministry continued through those 11 ordinary men. The fact that I’m writing is evidence that this mission is still going on today, nearly 2000 years later! Investing in the lives of younger people intentionally and faithfully has changed the world, and still has the power to change the world today.   Read More

Fish out of Water

Posted on by Jole Miller

When I was on a boat last weekend I saw a fish washed up on shore, flopping around and gasping for breath. It was the strangest thing, it seemed as if he could have flopped back into the water, but instead he went away from the water and towards a Chipotle burrito that someone leftover from a picnic. There are two reasons why this fish didn’t survive. First, fish were made to be in the water. In the water fish have the freedom to move around, eat, and breath, but when separated they can do nothing. Second, the fish reached for a burrito which, although it is the tastiest thing on the planet, could not give him life. He needed to be in the water before enjoying that tortilla filled with Mexican goodness.

What was the point of that story? Well, we are that fish. Ever since Adam sinned we have been kicked out of Eden, separated from our God and source of life. And in this fallen world there are a lot of things that promise to give us life and hope. Promise to satisfy us. For example, I looked for satisfaction in football and lost every game my senior year. I’ve put my hope in dating relationships and none of those relationships lasted. I’ve been disappointed in food from expensive restaurants. I tried finding identity in being handsome and got staph infection on my face. I tried to please people and make everybody happy, but still made people upset. A flood once ruined my neighborhood. Money and jobs can be lost at the drop of a hat, and family members and friends will pass away someday. Everything in this world that we look to for our identity and satisfaction can and will fail us because we are trying to make them do what only God can. God spoke through Jeremiah saying, “My people have committed a double evil: They have abandoned me, the fountain of living water, and dug cisterns for themselves, cracked cisterns that cannot hold water” (Jeremiah 2:13). Jesus says in John’s Gospel, “Whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again– ever! In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up within him for eternal life” (John 4:14). Only Jesus can satisfy our souls. It is only through Jesus that we can find an identity that can never be taken away: sons and daughters of God.

To clarify, I am not saying sports, relationships, and possessions are bad things. Much to the contrary, they are good gifts that should be enjoyed within God’s boundaries. Paul tells Timothy, “For everything created by God is good, and nothing should be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, since it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer” (1 Tim 4:4-5). However, there is a big difference between enjoying God’s gifts and turning the gifts into gods. Again, Paul says, “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator, who is blessed forever” (Romans 1:25). The temptation to put our hope in something or someone that is not God is ever before us, but like the fish may we strive to drink from the fountain of living water and enjoy the Chipotle burrito beneath the waterfall of Christ’s love and grace.