Here are three fill-in-the-blank statements to help you discern your purpose:

“I want to live in a world where . . . so that . . . therefore, I . . .”

“I want to live in a world where . . .“

This statement is about desire: what do I want? It should be future oriented, possible, and within your sphere of influence. You can’t change the past. You can’t stop loved ones from dying. It is one thing for me to say, “I want to live in a world where the Chicago Bears are Super Bowl champs,” and another for the Bears coaches and players to say the same thing. There are tangible things that they can do to realize that desire, while I can do nothing but watch and hope.

The statements can be personal: “I want to live in a world where I am debt free, or own a home, or weigh X amount, or can run a marathon.” They can also be larger in scope: “I want to live in a world where people are judged by the content of their character not the color of their skin, or where children don’t go to bed hungry, or where my political party is in control.” The statements can either be short-term or long-term, character focused or something more tangible. You can also have multiple things for the different areas of life (financial, professional, personal, relational, spiritual, and physical). The main thing is to be honest about what it is you want.

The first step is naming what you want.

“So that . . .”

This statement is about motivation: why do I want what I want? I chose “so that” rather than “because” because “because” addresses the present reality while “so that” addresses future hope. For example, one might say, “I want to live in a world where I am a college graduate because my parents expect me to.” Compare that with the statement, “I want to live in a world where I am a college graduate so that I can make my parents proud.” “Because” is the reason you got started. “So that” is what makes you persevere.

This step is important for understanding your own heart. As you reflect you might realize you want something for selfish reasons, or you might find that it is something that someone else wants for your life and not something you are passionate about. Maybe an athlete doing this exercise will find that they want to win conference so that they feel a greater sense of self-worth. Then you might ask that person, “Why do you think your self-worth is connected with a game?” Perhaps from here you can help them see that their value doesn’t come from their performance.

Lastly, often the first answer that comes to mind isn’t the only or the most important reason. For example, a college student might say, “I want to graduate college so that I can get a good job.” Why do you want a good job? “So that I can make good money.” Why do you want to make good money? “So that I’ll be able to support my loved ones.” Keep asking why until you get to what’s most important.

The second step is understanding why you want what you want.

“Therefore, I . . .”

This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where we take action to get closer to what we want. If you want to get in better shape so that you can pick up your grandkids when you’re older, your action steps might be eating healthier, exercising, and going to the doctor. MLK wanted to see a world where every human being is treated with dignity. Therefore, he prayed, preached, organized, encouraged, marched, and endured beatings and imprisonments. His hope for a better future motivated him to endure. If you really want something, you will take action on it. If you say you want to live in a world where your political party is in power, you should at least vote. If you do nothing, I question how much you actually want what you say you want.

There is freedom in this stage to experiment and make mistakes. You might not have a clear plan, but you can take steps until clarity comes. Maybe you notice that you are doing what you thought were the right things but it hasn’t gotten you to where you wanted. That might mean it’s time to persevere, or it might mean it’s time to try something new. As you take action, you might also discover that your desires have shifted. That is okay! The journey is often more important than the destination.

As you probably already know, life is hard and it is full of disappointment. There is risk in naming your heart’s desires. When you do, you open yourself up to the possibility having your heart broken. You may never attain what you desire. The Bears might never win another Super Bowl. But I am also reminded of what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:58, “Be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” There is value in the pursuit even if the result isn’t what you want. It is never a mistake to do the right thing for the right reason. May we have the courage to take steps towards what we desire.

The third step is to take action to attain what you desire.

Working Backwards

If you are having trouble naming what you want, I encourage you to work backwards from your current behaviors. Author James Clear wrote, “Your current habits are perfectly designed to deliver your current results.” If you go to the gym a lot, what are you trying to gain? If you watch a lot of TV, what are you looking for? From these examples, maybe working backwards would sounds like, “I go to the gym a lot so that I can be desirable to the opposite sex, because I want to live in a world where I’m not alone.” Or, “I watch a lot of TV so that I can forget about life for a while, because I want to live in a world that doesn’t hurt so much.”

Take a look at your habits and see if they are getting you closer to what you want most. If not, what needs to change?