“When work is your identity, success goes to your head, and failure goes to your heart.” Pastor Tim Keller.

I think the world tries to define people’s value in one of three ways:

1. Performance- You are what you do. (Isn’t this what Batman teaches us?)
2. Possessions- You are what you have.
3. Reputation- You are what others think of you.

Maybe you think you are somebody because you are successful in work, school or sports. Maybe you find value in having nice clothes, a nice house, and all the coolest toys. Maybe you find identity in being liked by people. Having lots of friends, being desired by the opposite sex, etc. But what happens when you come up short in these areas? What happens when you don’t do well on an assignment, or make a costly mistake at work or in a game? Will you cheat on the next assignment or shift the blame to a coworker/teammate? What do you do when a crappy car is all you can afford? Will you rack up credit card debt to impress people with new stuff? What happens when you ask someone on a date and they turn you down? Will you run to pornography to avoid the possibility of rejection?

These three options I’ve described are false identities. They are identities built on a weak foundation, and can be lost at the drop of a hat. If you put all of your hope in performance, possessions, or reputation you will be disappointed often. Paralyzed by fears of failure, fear of rejection, or constantly questioning if you are actually good enough. Every one of us is either living a false identity, or struggling with a false identity. And it is dangerous and enslaving.

I want to suggest that there is a distinction that must be made between identity and expression, and problems arise when they are confused. Let me illustrate: my dreads do not define me, rather they are an expression of who I am. I have tattoos. They serve as a daily reminder of what God has done in my life and an easy way to share my story with people. But tattoos don’t define me. If people don’t like them (my parents), I am not bothered because I don’t see it as an attack on me, they just prefer different things. I love playing sports, but my worth has nothing to do with my success on the field. I don’t do sports to “find myself”, rather I play because I love it, and on the field I have the freedom to express myself in ways that I can’t in other areas of life.

However, I’m not even close to having things figured out. I really struggle with intellect as my false identity. Sometimes I think I can find worth by wowing people with clever analogies or having a deep understanding of the Bible. Even as a write this I agonize over saying the right thing to impress whoever might read it. And in school with essays and writing a dissertation I’m constantly faced with the reality that there is so much that I don’t know, and there are so many people who are way smarter than me. And sometimes it’s hard for me to deal with because I feel like I pour myself into these blogs and the essays I write, and it hurts when people aren’t feeling it. Sometimes reading a professor’s comments on a paper feels like a personal attack. Rather than receiving criticism and improving, I ignore them. I believe the lie that my value is in how well I can communicate clever ideas.

Don’t get me wrong, God has given me gifts and talents, and I want to pursue excellence and use them to the best of my abilities. But the way in which I use these gifts should be a way to love God and love people. It should be an expression of what God has done in my life, not a way for me to find approval. I already have it. I mean God knows all of my sin, all of my weakness, all of my insecurities, all of my shortcomings, and in spite of all that he gave Jesus to die for my sin. He gave me a new heart and a new identity, one that I don’t deserve, and one that can never be taken away. I want to continue to write and study and grind, but I want it to do it glorify God and build people up. I want to be honest about what I’m going through and share what I think God is teaching me, hoping that people see and believe that there is life and freedom in Jesus. So I end with a challenge. Search your heart. Ask yourself, “Who am I really? Where is my identity really found?”